This post started out as being ten rules to becoming a productive member of the Crossfit Longmont community. However once I delved into trying to find ten things our wonderful member population was doing wrong, I failed miserably. At first I was discouraged that I couldn’t find ten things that I thought a certain percentage of our athlete base could improve upon. Now I am proud that we have such awesome members. You do things like help keep the bathrooms clean, put away equipment after you are done, help police your children. In the end I was only able to come up with three rules, which are intended to be somewhat humorous.
Rule #1: Dropping of open bars and how it directly correlates to Sarge’s high blood pressure.
IF IT DOESN’T HAVE BUMPERS DO NOT DROP IT!!! It gives me an anxiety attack when I see a open bar drop from overhead level then bounce and rattle until it comes to a stop. If this is a choice that was made to avoid a trip to the emergency room then there is no problem. However, if you made a conscious decision to do this because you were to lethargic to set it down properly then, you are WRONG. Same thing goes for kettle-bells, rowers, boxes, fans, and metal weights. Basically if you are dropping anything besides a bar with proper bumpers, you are contributing to Rocky’s receding hairline, Robert’s chronic eye twitch, Sarge’s high blood pressure, Frank’s mental anguish, and Tricia’s stress headaches.
Rule #2: Try to be somewhat neat when applying chalk.
It seems as if some of us are trying to recreate the famous Lebron James heavy hand chalk and blow into the air, as we are getting ready for our pull-ups. Just a little rub down on the hands will do wonders for your sweaty palms. Try to keep the majority of the excess in the bucket. Also, taking a bar of chalk back to the bar with you often ends up underneath someone’s foot, and it is quite amazing how they crumble into a dusty nothing. Lastly this should almost go without saying but, writing on the ground to keep track of reps, rounds, whatever, is heavily frowned upon.
Rule #3: Protocol of box stacking.
When stacking boxes use this simple yet fool-proof protocol. “A box may only be stacked on a smaller box” think Russian dolls here. If a box gets stacked on a same size or larger box; it makes it hard to take them apart. Pretty simple, eh? Refer to Coach Franks facebook page for more info on proper stacking technique.
Add dropping kettlebells. That adds to Shane’s lazier eye and razor tongue syndrome. And contributes to athlete fitness given a 100 burpee penalty.